Chapel of Optimal Life

A traditional Bible-based Christian church
A Bible-based Christian church for the modern age
A church based on the teachings of all the great thinkers
A new age church for the inquiring mind

SERMON: Sinners Among Us

In a Peanuts comic strip, Lucy tells Linus "I finally figured out how to prove to everyone that my religion is right."

Linus asks, "How do you do that?"

"It's simple," says Lucy, "I hit 'em over the head with my lunch box!"

While we are unaware of any congregants who have resorted to that form of "evangelism," we are aware of counterintuitive and counterproductive measures on the issue of homosexuality.

You may ask, "Where are the homosexuals?" The truth is that homosexuals are everywhere among us. Possibly one in five of us. More...

EDITORIAL: Intoxicated Astronauts In Space

On February 5, 2007, Captain Lisa M. Nowak, a NASA naval officer, shocked the whole world when the news of her arrest at Orlando International Airport broke out.

According to Orlando Police Department, Capt. Nowak drove alone and non-stop from her home in Houston, Texas to Orlando, Florida (a 900-mile trip) in order to confront Colleen Shipman, a U.S. Air Force captain.

She used diapers, according to police reports, so she wouldn't have to stop during the trip in order to use the bathroom. The two female captains allegedly competed for the love of Capt. William Oefelein, a naval officer. Nowak was released on $15,500 bail.

But five months after this bizarre incident, the New York Times published an astonishing article about NASA. More...

OPINION: Billy Collins' 180

Billy Collins' 180 More Extraordinary Poems for Everyday Life focuses on an important reality in today's literary world.

In our "post-modernist" era, which, according to many literary critics, began in France with the symbolists during the mid-eighteenth century, poetry appears to have lost its clarity or its simplicity.

Consequently, poetry, the beauty and grace of life, has become so marginal that it is no longer applicable in everyday life situations.

Paul Val'ry, one of the most important literary figures in France, once stated that modern poetry is an "intelligence that doesn't enter the great actions of man." More...

GOOD NEWS: Painful (And Funny) Analogies

The wheel of love had left its tread marks in his chest once too often, like a knobby mud tire on a monster truck, or like a really big ponce wheel, the kind that tailors use to punch little holes in patterns and that would leave lots of nasty little welts if you were to run it up and down your arm.
(Peter Loughlin)

I saw her sitting at the bar. I approached. "Hello," she said in a voice so husky it could pull a dogsled.
(Dan Yell)

Mitzi's wet T-shirt clung to her torso like paint on the nose cone of a jumbo jet.
(James Macdonald)

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
(Jack Bross)

Losing is like fertilizer: it stinks for a while, then you get used to it.

FICTION: Tails of Aspabibia, Part 85

Viker looked at each of them in turn. "Listen, I'm sorry. I really had hoped to avoid this area."

"Oh-oh," Pink Buddha sat down on the cold rock and wrapped his tail around his feet. "I feel my courage fading."

"What's so bad about this? It's beautiful," Fawn Doll asked, gazing at the sparkling crystals. "They'd look fabulous in a crown or on a collar."

Without a word, Viker withdrew a kerchief from his knapsack and unwrapped a bundle of hard cheese. Buddha stared hungrily at it. Breaking off a piece, he flung it out into the field of gems. The cheese spun through the air and glanced off of a tall crystal that sliced it neatly in half. More...

ADVICE: Dear Angel

I thought I had married the most wonderful man in the world. Then there started to be signs: hints that he was cheating, lies about his job, parents, financial situation and finally physical abuse.

Eventually, I had had enough and moved back with my parents, a humiliating admission of failure. He fought me every step of the way for everything we owned, every last nickel. I finally gave in and let him have it all just so I could be rid of him and all the pain he represented.


"One's destination is never a place, but rather a new way of looking at things."

Henry Miller

"The four most dangerous words in investment are, 'It's different this time.'"

John Templton

"Spiritual favors are not always to be looked for, and not always to be relied on."

Amelia E. Barr

"People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first."

David H. Comins

"I have noticed that the people who are late are often jollier than the people who have to wait for them."

E. V. Lucas

"It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it."

Miguel de Cervantes

"The head is ever the dupe of the heart."

Francois De La Rochefoucauld

"It's very easy to forgive others their mistakes, it takes more gut and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own."

Jessamyn West

"The mere sense of living is joy enough."

Emily Dickenson

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."

Mother Theresa

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