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ADVICE: Dear Angel

My four year old son's father and I are separated because of his abusive behavior. Most of it is mentally abusive, shouting at me, insulting me and putting me down. He has shaken me a few times and when he gets enraged, I am afraid of him but no bruises so far.

I would like to take my son and move far, far away but Robbie really loves his daddy who, as far as I know, has never been abusive to Robbie.


Sometimes there just isn't any evidence and even an unpleasant number is innocent until proven guilty.

When we were still together, I went on our computer and found, around the corner and behind the hill, some young girl pornography. When I confronted him, he denied all and said it must have been the previous owner. We did buy it as an "open package" at a reputable store and there were definite signs that it was used by someone, but I thought it pointed to a girl. The Document and Settings had a female name imbedded and we were never able to remove it. He said it must have been her male friend.

That could be but he has always liked flirting with my teenage sister and her friends.

No definitive case but I am nervous about when Robbie is alone with him, I am nervous every time we talk and I am anxious about the pornography and the flirtations.

What do I do? Where do I go?

Nervous Nell

Dear Nervous,

He sounds like an unpleasant number. If the shaking has not taken place since you two separated, it probably would mean little legally. The excuse on the pornography is weak but possible. If a long, friendly chat (not a grilling) with Robbie reveals nothing untoward, then I think you just have a case of two incompatible people with a child they love and share and a lot of bad feelings from times past.

Rather than just keeping alert and watching for some deterioration on his part, I would suggest you consult an attorney (a woman would probably be better in this instance) and tell her the same thing you have told me. If she sees some real legal problems that I have overlooked, then you can decide how you want to proceed.

But if she comes up dry as I did, then it's back to keeping a watchful eye on Robbie and your ex and try your best to keep your communications with him short and cordial. And, always try to be positive with Robbie about his dad.

Sometimes there just isn't any evidence and even an unpleasant number is innocent until proven guilty.

Do not be uneasy about writing to me again any time you have some new reason to be "nervous" about your ex. Or sharing your "nervousness" with the attorney.

I do care and I feel your nervousness but the facts, as stated, do not seem to warrant any action.

Blessings for you and Robbie,

Angel

©

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Harry And Bess



A Great Man And His Lady

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Harry Truman was a different kind of President. He probably made as many, or more important decisions regarding our nation's history as any of the other 42 Presidents preceding him. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.

The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence Missouri. His wife had inherited the house from her mother and father and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire married lives there.

When he retired from office in 1952, his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.

After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There was no Secret Service following them.

When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, "You don't want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale."

Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, "I don't consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise."

As president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food.

Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale.

Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, "My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a bawdyhouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!

If only we could dig him up and clone him !

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