Chapel of Optimal Life

A traditional Bible-based Christian church
A Bible-based Christian church for the modern age
A church based on the teachings of all the great thinkers
A new age church for the inquiring mind

ADVICE: Dear Angel

As I understand it, the bride's parents should shoulder the cost of the wedding and the groom's parents should pay for the rehearsal dinner; the groom pays for the engagement ring and the honeymoon; the bride pays for nothing.

Do you feel that this traditional way of paying for a wedding is the best way when all is said and done?

I wonder in this day and age, with many women earning equal or better than men, why the bride gets off Scot free. Shouldn't the bride and groom split the cost of the ring and honeymoon?

Parents no longer should have to pay to unload their daughters on some lusting male. And females should no longer be burdens or sex objects but equal partners in any relationships.

And if that were the case, then I suppose the groom's parents should pay half the wedding and the bride's parents half the rehearsal dinner. And each mother would have equal say in both events.

Or more appropriately, perhaps the person who most wants the big wedding, should pay for it and run it. The bride wants everything to be her way, her dream way, but never seems to chip in any cash. If she wants the big wedding, she should pay for it, shouldn't she?

This would probably mean that grooms who often don't even want a marriage and almost never want a wedding bigger than city hall, would never have to pony up any cash, including the engagement ring. The bride wants the ring as an advertisement that she is desired for a wife. So shouldn't she pay for it? Or is the female equal to the male in every way except when she wants to welsh out of the costs?

Lots of questions for the twenty first century. What are your thoughts?

Equality Questioner

Dear Equality,

I am intrigued with your suggestion that he or she who most wants the action or product should pay for it. Let's see, if a woman wants to ask a man out, she should pay for the date. And just as many women decline to date men that don't turn them on, so men can decline women who don't do it for them.

If a man and a woman establish a close and special relationship, they should share any costs equally, even if their earning power is unequal. Unless they both willingly agree to an unequal sharing.

When the wedding , in the fullness of time, comes rolling around, the pattern would be set. If she wants an expensive and/or elaborate wedding, she or her parents should pay the entire bill, rings, grooms rentals, brides gowns, rehearsal dinner, everything. If the man, or his parents want the big one, then they should pay for it all.

The one big advantage I see from all these changes is that there would so many fights, tears, recriminations and hard feelings that the wedding rate would plummet and so would the divorce rate.

There are far too many children being raised by one parent households. Your idea would certainly cut that number way back.

I do think that your idea would even the playing field. Parents no longer should have to pay to unload their daughters on some lusting male. And females should no longer be burdens or sex objects but equal partners in any relationships. And males who want the "extra privileges" but not the wedding should be turned out to find their own way.

In an ideal world, women would be equals in every way to men but that ideality has not yet arrived so couples must stumble along getting and giving what is doable. But, the stronger, the more desirable the woman, the more equal she can be. And the weaker, the less desirable the women, the less equal she will be.

Times are a changing but weddings are still lots of give and lots of take and the new millennia in equality has not arrived but it is a comin' down the tracks and will be arriving at the station sooner than many folks would like.

Give a little, get a little and happiness will be yours,




More Steven Wright Wisedom


I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Steven Wright

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
Steven Wright

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
Steven Wright

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright

I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!
Steven Wright

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright

I invented the cordless extension cord.
Steven Wright

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Steven Wright

Add to Favorites
Send Comments to

"Everything in moderation -- including moderation."

Harvey Steiman

"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."

Corrie Ten Boom

"Learning is not compulsory but neither is survival."

W. Edwards Deming

"Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future."

Denis Waitley

"A great fortune depends on luck, a small one on diligence."

Chinese proverb

"Character is always lost when a high ideal is sacrificed on the altar of conformity and popularity."


"The greatest waste in the world is the difference between what we are and what we could become."

Ben Herbster

"Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending."

Anne Bradstreet

"Genius hath electric power; which earth can never tame; bright suns may scorch and dark clouds lower; its flash is still the same."

Lydia M. Child

"Let's choose today to quench our thirst for the "good life" we thinks others lead by acknowledging the good that already exists in our lives. We can then offer the universe the gift of our grateful hearts."

Sarah Ban Breathnach

Sermon | Editorial | Opinion | Good News | Fiction | Advice
Copyright © 2004 - 2018