Chapel of Optimal Life

A traditional Bible-based Christian church
A Bible-based Christian church for the modern age
A church based on the teachings of all the great thinkers
A new age church for the inquiring mind

EDITORIAL: What Does God Look Like?

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him."

The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel is the site of the famous frescoes painted by Michelangelo which include the first days of creation with God's finger gently giving life to man.

God is an old man with a full head of gray hair and a full gray beard and a garment covering his body. Man (Adam) is a light-brown haired youth, naked, innocent, almost gym-pumped muscular, no body hair.

They are both very white. This is not too surprising considering that Michelangelo and his commissioning Pope (Julius II) were both from Northern Italy and also very white.

God said clearly that he created Adam in his own image.

This powerful image has been impressed on millions as what God and Adam looked like.

But the people who descended from Adam (and Eve) were Jews and Arabs. Their hair is black, their skin brown and the males have hairy bodies.

God said clearly that he created Adam in his own image. If God ages, he would be thousands of years old now. We cannot accept that God is a very, very old man. We believe He is now and was immortal and was then and is now a young man with black hair, brown skin and a hairy body, as was His creation Adam. And He is naked.

Remember, the largest single group of humans are women, brown skinned, brown eyed and black haired. God must love them; He has made so many of them. All primed to have sons who look like Him.




A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."


1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.



1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in bag

18. Check makeup again.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

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"The Lord's prayer contains the sum total of religion and morals."

Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington

"Praying is to ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy."

Ambrose Bierce

"Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience"

George Washington

"Ambition has its disappointments to sour us, but never the good fortune to satisfy us. Its appetite grows keener by indulgence and all we can gratify it with at present serves but the more to inflame its insatiable desires."

Benjamin Franklin

"Tact is to lie about others as you would have them lie about you."

Oliver Herford

"When we give of what we have, we are ready to receive what we really need."

Douglas M. Lawson

"Someone has said that it requires less mental effort to condemn than to think."

Emma Goldman

"Corporal punishment is as humiliating for who gives it as for who receives it; it is ineffective besides. Neither shame nor physical pain have any other effect than a hardening one."

Ellen Key

"The world of reality has its limits; the world of imagination is boundless."

Jean Jacques Rousseau

"The reward of a thing well done is to have done it."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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