Chapel of Optimal Life

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ADVICE: Dear Angel

I am eighteen and I went out with a nineteen year old boy from my youth group on a first date and we had a pretty good time. He was very sweet and polite and we were both quite nervous. There were periods of no talking as neither of us could think of anything to say. I have been out with boys who never lack for talk and others, worse at small talk than this one.

A good horse was life or death to the cowboy on the range. I think it was thought up from the get go as an insulting comment about a female

I am not particularly shy but Josh was so nervous that he made me nervous and I had trouble keeping the conversation going. Almost everything I asked him was answered with one or two words.

At one point, he blurted out that I was so pretty, that I looked like I had been rode hard and put away wet. I thought this was the weirdest thing for him to say to me and I couldn't think of a thing to say. I think I gave a small smile, like he had complimented me and he looked sort of self-satisfied like he had.

Ever since, I have been wondering if he was complimenting me or insulting me or if he was just mouthing gibberish he had heard at city college.

Do you know what it means? Have I been complimented or insulted or neither?

I think I would like to go out with him again but this outburst is hanging over us like a curse.

Any help would be appreciated,

Ridden Hard

Dear Ridden,

I wasn't absolutely certain myself what that expression means although I had heard it before so I consulted my favorite lexicologist.

She said it came from an old cowboy expression, referring to riding his horse for a long time at high speed, arriving at a destination and just leaving the horse sweaty and unwashed to cool down on its own.

Eventually, it became a slur by an obnoxious male bragging about how he used a female for sex and then just left her once he had his way.

Frankly, I don't think it ever was a cowboy expression as I don't believe a real cowboy would brag about treating his horse in that fashion. A good horse was life or death to the cowboy on the range. I think it was thought up from the get go as an insulting comment about a female.

It has several other possible meanings but the one above is the most prevalent.

From what you have written about Josh, I don't think he meant it as an insult or as anything sexual. I think he just an awkward nineteen year old who heard the expression and thought it was a cool comment about how attractive you are. Hard to believe, I know, from the sweaty connotation but maybe he thinks put away wet is some kind of cool expression meaning you are perfect or admirable.

Cool, gay, dike, swell, rad, egg, dick, jungle are all words that not too long ago meant one thing and now mean something else. Maybe wet is the new marvelous. I did find a web site whose owner bragged about being SO wet. Didn't appear to be anything but complimentary.

If you would like to go out with him again by all means do so. And ask him what he thought he meant when he said BRHAPAW. If he seems genuinely to think it was a compliment, either set him straight or let it ride (pardon that pun). If explaining what it means embarasses you, let it go until a long time in the future when you and he are much more comfortable with each other. Then, you can laugh about it.

If he seems a little hesitant or smarmy when you ask him, then set him straight and let your good judgement be your guide about continuing to date him.

And Ridden, I think you are SO wet!




Just Like Momma

He didn't like my casserole

And he didn't like my cake.

He said my biscuits were too hard...

Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right

He didn't like the stew,

I didn't tend his needs

The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer

I was looking for a clue.

Then I smacked the living stuffing outta him...

Just like his MOMMA used to do.

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