Chapel of Optimal Life

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FICTION: Chad, Part Three

He decided he'd leave Henry's belongings, minus the brass knuckles, in Henry's bedroom, the address of which he got from his I. D.

That next day at school, Jeremy watched Chad cautiously and carefully for signs that he had been responsible for Jeremy's suffering yesterday. Chad knew he was watching him and worked extra hard at being normal, nerdy Chad.

A thought had come to him in third period Geometry. Jeremy, of course, picked on more than just Chad. He bullied every quiet, smaller, peaceful boy, and even some of the girls, in the school.

Chad decided if he saw Jeremy picking on anyone, it would be time for strike two.

He covered up his lack of text books by stealing, one from each of four students. He thought he was a brilliant master criminal until, a week later, the principal's secretary discovered his clothes and books in the closet.

But Jeremy was still somewhat cowed and cautious so it was several days before he felt safe to be aggressive again. He started butting his shoulder into shy Melvin Finker in the halls and stairways. Melvin was on the verge of tears and Chad wanted to throw Jeremy down the stairwell but decided that noble super powers didn't kill or maim. They just stopped and humiliated and punished bullies.

Chad let Jeremy and Melvin go out of sight and counted fifteen seconds and then stopped time. He went down the stairs to where Jeremy had tired of butting Melvin and was butting, can you believe it, Teresa Garcetti, the would be jewelry store robber's sister. Teresa was not as meek or shy as Melvin and was in full scream at Jeremy.

Chad ran back up stairs and called time in again. He attended his classes and furtively kept an eye on Jeremy. When he spotted him alone with his back to Chad at the end of the hall as school was finishing, he called time out again. Rubbing his hands together, he cackled diabolically, "You are mine Jeremy Evans, mine."

He hoisted Jeremy under his arm and took him to the teacher's lounge. It only had one toilet room but it would do. Off came all Jeremy's clothing except his tee shirt, undershorts and socks. The rest of the clothing and his books he took to the principal's office and put them in the principal's closet. Then he thought about it again and went back and got Jeremy's socks. Maybe, Jeremy would comprehend the progression that next time he would be bare top and the next time after that, bare naked.

Jeremy came to in the teacher's toilet and reflexively locked the door immediately. He had never been in the teacher's lounge or toilet so he had no idea where he was but he did notice the missing socks. His watch told him it was 2:45 P.M. and he could hear talking outside the toilet door. Twice in the next two hours, somebody tried to open the toilet room door.

Jeremy's mind raced. He hadn't gone near Chad and Chad had exhibited no signs of even being aware Jeremy was alive. Maybe Chad was smarter than he looked or maybe there is a great black spirit who comes after me whenever I have a little fun with the jerks. He swore to himself that if he got out of this mess this time, he would mend his ways. The Ju ju of this genie was too powerful for him. He would, of course, break his vow but it would be much later.

If you are wondering how Jeremy got out of this mess, he waited until all was quiet, about five o'clock and ventured out in his bare feet and spotted a raincoat on a coat rack. It was a cheap plastic opaque raincoat but it was better than just a tee and undershorts. Walking straight ahead like you know what you are doing worked just fine and got him home, although his feet were mighty sore.

He covered up his lack of text books by stealing, one from each of four students. He thought he was a brilliant master criminal until, a week later, the principal's secretary discovered his clothes and books in the closet. His stealing was uncovered and his explanation of the time warp was unconvincing.

Chad particularly enjoyed it when Jeremy was forced to stand in assembly and apologize to the four whose books he had stolen and then to the school for his lying and pathetic explanation. He was tempted to stop time and pull Jeremy's pants down while he stood in front of the entire student body. But he thought better of it. Too many witnesses to swear that first the pants were solidly in place and then they were at Jeremy's ankles. Don't be a pig Chad told himself.

Chad, Part Three
by Kingsley Amiss



How To Know If You've Actually Grown Up 3


1. MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.

2. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

3. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

4. Grocery lists are longer than mac and cheese, diet Pepsi and Ho-Ho's.

5. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

6. You no longer get presents from relatives to whom you never wrote thank you notes.

7. Acid indigestion takes on a painful new meaning.

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