Chapel of Optimal Life

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SERMON: Living Single in a Double World

As he sat on the floor with kids scurrying all around him, he thought of the life that his brothers and sisters had, about their marriages and their children. All of his nieces and nephews were special to him, but they weren't his children; his sibling's marriages brought him happiness, but he remained single.

And the questions they never stopped asking, "Have you found a girl yet?" "When are you going to marry?" "When are you going to settle down?" "When are we going to see grandchildren?"

He was a single man in a time when men weren't supposed to be single.

If you are trying to fill the expectations of the people who surround you then you are destined to be unhappy.
Society as a whole would have agreed with Germaine Greer who wrote "The most threatened group in human societies as in animal societies is the unmated male: the unmated male is more likely to wind up in prison or in an asylum or dead than his mated counterpart. He is less likely to be promoted at work and he is considered a poor credit risk."

What struggles do Single Adults face in 2005? Everybody had expectations of you. I'm sure that there were days when you get up and think, "Everyone has a plan for the rest of my life." Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt that you were trying to satisfy everyone else's desire for what they want you to be? There are all kinds of expectations from all kinds of people; maybe you can identify with some of these.

So whose expectations are you trying to fulfill? Your parents? Are you still trying to please them? Your friends? Your Pastor? Your Boss? If you are trying to fill the expectations of the people who surround you then you are destined to be unhappy. Whose expectations should I meet if no matter what I do I will make someone unhappy.

Read the words of a song written by Greg Ferguson:
It's such a strong temptation to live for man's applause.
But I don't want to buy into the lie
'Cause I know that's not a worthy cause
So to keep things in perspective, I hung a sign on the wall
The sign is nothing special, but it really says it all
And the sign says.

I'll be content to serve an audience of one
Only His approval counts when all is said and done
And this is my prayer, when the race is finally run
I want to hear "well done"
From the Audience of One.

You will never, never, never make every one happy. Never. So forget it and play to an Audience of One. And that one is God. And If that makes other people happy then that's a bonus, and if that makes other people unhappy--- tough.

Two pieces of advice for singles when it comes to marriage: go slow and go fast. The first part is advice for when you are looking. There are worse things then staying single forever and one of those is being married to the wrong person. The result of not thinking it through is seldom pretty.

You need to make sure that whoever it is, that you are willing to spend the rest of your life with her/him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her/him.

And in the meantime, don't beat yourself up about being single and cherish the time you have to cultivate your own garden so that it may be better if shared with someone down the road.

Adapted from a sermon by Denn Guptill as posted on


Girls And Guys On Clothing


Leg Warmers:

Girls: Leg warmers are sexy. A girl, even if she's walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants.

Guys: A guy can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the "Gimme the Ball" number in "A Chorus Line."


Girls: When preparing for work, a girl will put on a wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When she gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.

Guys: A guy will wear the same pair of shoes all week. Let's not talk about how many days he'll wear the same socks.

Dressing Up:

Girls: A girl will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.

Guys: A guy will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

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