ADVICE: Dear Angel
Our very lovely and pretty and smart twenty year old daughter, Brittany, has never had a whiff of a boyfriend or a date. She has one close girl friend but even the girlfriend seems to have a more active social life than our daughter.
So far, she has never given us any cause for worry other than wondering if this is normal female behavior. I was an extremely active dater from age thirteen but Brittany is Brittany and not me.
Brittany likes to sleep late and later and later, sometimes not getting out of bed until three or four P. M. She takes one class four days a week at junior college and then spends most of the night on line, chatting and playing games.
Though not thought of as common, there are many people of both sexes who have a low, low interest in sex, which in turn means, no interest in the opposite sex.
Am I looking for trouble that isn't there or am I overlooking trouble which isn't obvious?
Even though she lives in your home, and presumably pays no room and board, it's pretty tough to make a case for putting a tracer on her computer but, truth to tell, in your shoes, I would really like to be reassured by knowing where she was going on the internet and what she was saying.
Let's be twenty-first century adults and put that idea on layaway and consider some other possibilities.
The obvious one is that she is depressed. The sleeping late, the lax social life, the internet immersion all could be signs of depression. A "routine" physical with a good female medical doctor would be appropriate if you can swing it. I have a feeling she would resist it but maybe if you push hard she might do it to shut you up.
If the doctor can find no serious depression, then number two reason could be that she is strongly undersexed. Though not thought of as common, there are many people of both sexes who have a low, low interest in sex, which in turn means, no interest in the opposite sex. Just as some people live to eat, eat, eat, others live for sex, sex, sex. And just as many people have little interest in food, many people have little interest in physical love.
If low sex drive is the culprit, this might make Brittany somewhat depressed. If you live in a household of sport fans and you have no interest in sporting events, you are bound to feel left out.
One's recourse would be to seek out friends who have little or no interest in sports and that wouldn't be too difficult to find. But, exactly how one finds nearby friends with low or no sex drive, even I am stumped on that one, except to note that a type of everyone and everything is on the internet.
The last possibility is that she is homosexual. Brittany may get vibes that her parents would not approve of her if she were homosexual. Many Neanderthal parents kick their child out of their home and never speak to them again when the child comes out.
I cannot condemn this type of behavior strongly enough. Homosexuality is not a choice. It is a trait from nature and genes, like left handedness, curly hair, green eyes, the ability to sing on key, the gift of making millions, all traits I do not have.
Try to get the medical physical, don't worry about a low sex drive and, if you can live with a lesbian daughter, drops hints about a "friend" whose child came out and everyone is cool with it. If you can't live with it, silence is golden.
My real worry is that rigid and unsupportive parents can drive a sensitive soul to suicide.
Please be less rigid and more supportive or butt out and live with the consequences.
A little kindness and caring can go a long way,
It's All Up To Number #1
What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over
How about achieving 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
AND, now look at how far the Love of God will take you
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close,
Attitude will get you there, but it's the "Love of God" that will put you over the top!
It's all up to you.
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