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FICTION: The Cage, Part Two Of Two

Bess had to leave the room about then to go powder her nose.

I went over and asked Lou to dance. We danced to one record, then we sat on the sofa and just gabbed a bit. Bess came back, but either she didn't notice me, or had changed her mind.

Pretty soon I saw her make a pass at one of the other guys, which relieved me somewhat.

"Let him handle her," I thought.

Louise told me that she had made a cake, and why didn't I have a piece?

I didn't really want any but said, "Where is it?"

In the kitchen."

The trouble started right after we got back. Joe Thomas was still in the same corner of the kitchen. He was really drunk now. He seemed to feel that he couldn't get out of there.

I went to sample her culinary endeavor. Joe Thomas was in the kitchen. He was pretty drunk by this time, and proceeded to give me a lecture on studying. He said I was too smart to neglect my studying the way I did. There was no point in telling him that I wasn't neglecting my studies at all, because Joe didn't know what he was saying anyway.

I finally got away from him when I saw Gloria and her date arriving and went to meet them. Her date was a guy I had met only once before. He goes to another school. Seemed like a nice guy, though. I went back into the rumpus room, and they went into the kitchen. I sat with Lou again on the sofa.

Bess was having her picture taken with some of the kids, and tried to drag me into it and, incidentally, into a clinch. I made like I was camera - shy, and asked Louise to take a walk with me. We only went around the block. I wanted to talk to Lou about lots of things, but all we discussed were Bess, the kitten that followed us, and the nice houses we passed.

The trouble started right after we got back. Joe Thomas was still in the same corner of the kitchen. He was really drunk now. He seemed to feel that he couldn't get out of there. Louise and I were once again on our sofa when we saw Joe and Gloria's date swinging at each other.

I thought at first they were just horsing around, but I knew in a minute that this was no joke. It took three guys to get Joe outside and into the car. The other guy had a lousy - looking welt under his eye.

Lou was upset by the fight. I tried to tell her to forget it, but everybody was sort of low for awhile. Things perked up a little toward the end of the evening, though.

After most of the kids had left, four or five of us stayed around and just talked. It was just before we left that I realized that I hadn't seen Bess since Lou and I had returned from our walk.

"What happened to Bess?" I asked.

"We put her to bed. She got sick," Calla said. Calla was a little distraught. She looked so incongruous. Sweet little Calla in a slack satin dress with her hand on her hip, and a cigarette hanging from the corner of her mouth. I had never seen her smoke before, and here she was Calla the trampet, as she said goodnight to us.

I took a balloon home with me as a souvenir of the happy event.

The Cage
by Richard Freeman Miller
Part Two Of Two
I Learned It In Sunday School

The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade ages in Ohio. They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers.

Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling! Kids should rule the world, as it would be a laugh a minute for us adults and therefore no time to war or argue.


Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate Of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.


Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it.


Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was A actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds Like he was sort of busy too.


The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.


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