GOOD NEWS: Stress Management 101
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"
He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management.. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on.
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.
"It depends on how long you try to hold it.
"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem for me.
"If I hold it for at least an hour, I'll have a terrific ache in my right arm.
"If I hold it for a day, even an eight hour day, you'll have to call for an ambulance to help me, at the very least! In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier the glass becomes."
We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.
"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.
"Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"
And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
* Never buy a car you can't push.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
* A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Adapted from a Good News by Anonymous as submitted to www.thecoolgroup.org
Hang It All
Bubba Hicks decided to save up and get a hang-glider.
He takes it to the highest mountain near his home and, after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge and into the wind he goes!
Meanwhile, Ma and Pa Hicks were sittin' on the porch swing talkin' 'bout the good ol' days when Ma spots the biggest bird she ever seen!
"Look at the size of that bird, Pa!" she exclaims.
Pa raises up," Git my gun, Ma."
She runs into the house, brings out his pump shotgun. He takes careful aim. BANG...BANG.....BANG.....BANG! The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops.
"I think ya missed him, Pa," she says.
"Yeah," he replies, "but at least he let go of Bubba!"
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